A Note

Found this note on my phone.

"I am bound to forget that there are things worth keeping for yourself. I believe that the hardest form of truth can only be achieved by that feeling of being stripped of every single detail of privacy,to be somehow naked in front of both nobody and anybody,and not to feel even a bit of sympathy for personal pride and ego.People have always wanted seeing their reflections in mirrors because they hate the truth refracted through the prisms of others. Accepting truth is as hard as digesting a book which contains the morals of the society.Thus,recognizing the real self becomes less bearable than acting out what others might expect from you. Opinion leaders gather public opinion,both pro and con,but they speak only either to praise or bash,not oneself but another.It is rather confusing that most of us had palpably flaunted our love for our ego,and yet nobody has the proper courage to reveal their bare self publicly.Could it be a question of the mind or a question to the norms?Had you chosen selfpraise,you would have become a nobody.Had you rather opted for safety,you would have become anybody.I don't wish to be either of the two.I plainly want to be me.Whether I am ugly,or boastful,or kind,or smart,or immoral.Because only in seeking for the 'I' will one be able to find the more lucrative sense of individuality.Everything starts with reasons.Reasoning is a purpose of the mind.As one struggles to find the real essence of becoming a part or member of a group,a team,a family,a class,or a society,he has to realize to become one with himself,first.It is hard to speak what the mind doesn't think,or deny what the eyes see.Unless,of course,you're too good at acting."

I probably wrote this after reading Ayn Rand's The Fountainhead. I swore then I wouldn't let anybody read it, trying to make the thought as personal as possible. I was hammering the idea inside my head; I did not even consider writing it until I realized how poor my memory is that I won't forgive myself should I fail to remember the exact words. I did not intend it to be a personal motto of some sort. Just a realization. A proposition, hopefully, for future rebuttal and better argumentation.

Why I'm posting this, I don't know the reason yet. I have this habit of going over my past writings and I assume that soon, at some points in my life, I'll read this to decide whether to delete it or just laugh at myself.